Tips for Teachers/ Educators/ Therapists
In talking to the child in your care about their attachment relationships, you may like to try the following ideas:
- Initiate a discussion about the rope of love that exists between the child and their caregiver. What qualities would it have? What would it look like/sound like/feel like? Perhaps they could draw or describe it with your help.
- Initiate a discussion about the rope of love that is there, regardless of whether the water is choppy or calm. What might choppy seas look like in their relationship with their caregiver e.g. when their carer is upset with them/when they are absent. What might calm seas look like in their relationships?
- Children could draw a picture of all the people in their life whom they have an emotional connection to and using string, create a web on the page between the picture of the child and their significant others. They could use photos and a cork board as well for this. They might like to include pets and loved ones who have moved away or died.
- The whole class might like to use a ball of string to display their rope of love between all class members. Even when the string gets knotted up and a bit messy – they are still connected with love.
- When a child is upset, try saying “let’s drop anchor” and engage in a soothing activity together that will assist in calming the mind and body e.g. a hug; a book; breathing; tai chi; yoga. You could model this for the child when you yourself need to drop anchor.
- Simply letting the child know that if they need help, they can call on you or an attachment figure in their life and get a response, just as Mama responded to Lappy.
- Validating the child’s feelings will help to strengthen your relationship with them. Try and imagine how they are feeling and reflect this back to them. For example, if a child is upset at not being able to find a favourite toy you may say something like “I can see you are really worried about not finding your toy. I know how much it means to you and how much you like to cuddle it when you go to bed.” Then ask the child what they might need in the moment. “What can I do right now to help you?”
Glossary of Terms
Be Kind
is about using kind words and helpful actions, with a friendly, happy face, that helps others to feel good about themselves.
Drop our Anchor
is about stopping, breathing, going to a calm place, having a hug or hugging yourself, then coming back and trying again.
Heart
is where our love and kindness come from.
Love
is a warm safe feeling that makes you want to hug and be close to safe people and animals.
Sail Strong
is to do what feels right inside and stick to what you believe in.
Stay Brave
is about trusting yourself even when you first feel scared to try something new.
Strong Glistening Rope
reminds you that you can have a connection to someone or something special in your life forever.